Second day of selichot
"I sought You from within" or "I looked for You inside me."
"Dirashticha uvikashticha barichovot uvahshivakim."
"I sought you and searched for you on the streets and in the markets."
I love the idea of searching for God within oneself. The idea seems either pantheistic or post-modern or something vaguely non-frum (and maybe that's part of why I like it), but it rings true for me.
I also love the imagery of seeking God on the streets and in the markets, and the opposite images set up here of seeking God within ourselves on the one hand, and in the streets and markets on the other.
Later on in the piyut, in the last stanza, the phrase "bimitzvotecha mitchazkim" appears, and I love that as well. The idea of God's followers strengthening themselves (hitpa'el form of the verb) through mitzvot appeals to me. Much more, than, say, the attitude I sometimes encounter of "It sucks, it's hard, but you'll be rewarded for doing these at some point in the future." Strengthening oneself with mitzvot makes it seem like an active choice that one has, and one pursues, for one's own good, rather than to appease an often abstract God for whom we yearn and whom we seek, but whom we see so infrequently (which is what the beginning of the piyut is about).
That's it for now. We'll see what tomorrow will bring.
Labels: Torah (broadly defined)