tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post113693658863818393..comments2023-08-03T04:54:54.068-04:00Comments on Abacaxi Mamão: Embracing the Nerd WithinAbacaxi Mamaohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06604184268628243496noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147777667828112862006-05-16T07:07:00.000-04:002006-05-16T07:07:00.000-04:00All these 50 percents--Bringing up kid is a crapsh...All these 50 percents--Bringing up kid is a crapshoot. My mother, your grandmother, likes to say she's happy she has plain, normal kids. I think we did give her relaively few worries.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147736985483451792006-05-15T19:49:00.000-04:002006-05-15T19:49:00.000-04:00I agree with what Imma said, but would add a cavea...I agree with what Imma said, but would add a caveat. If the smart kids were trained to be smart, and to want to be smart, rather than popular, by their parents, then the initiative for that type of training came entirely from the kids, not from the choice of the parents. Otherwise, it wouldn't be consistent with a statistic I read in Steven Pinker's "The Blank Slate," which says that the variance in personality traits (I assume nerdiness and popularity are considered personality traits) among healthy kids in a given community is hardly due at all to the particular family that the kids are raised in. It is about 50% due to who the kids' biological parents are (i.e. their genes), and the other 50% seems to be chance.<BR/><BR/>Sorry to throw the percentage of comments by your parents back above 50% again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147624383721852962006-05-14T12:33:00.000-04:002006-05-14T12:33:00.000-04:00Paul Graham wrote:"The popular kids learned to be ...Paul Graham wrote:<BR/>"The popular kids learned to be popular, and to want to be popular, the same way the nerds learned to be smart, and to want to be smart: from their parents. While the nerds were being trained to get the right answers, the popular kids were being trained to please."<BR/>I think he's right.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147474814906862232006-05-12T19:00:00.000-04:002006-05-12T19:00:00.000-04:00Hey, now only HALF of the comments on this post ar...Hey, now only HALF of the comments on this post are from my parents. :)Abacaxi Mamaohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06604184268628243496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147474515146460892006-05-12T18:55:00.000-04:002006-05-12T18:55:00.000-04:00nerds rock! though you do realize that having you...nerds rock! <BR/><BR/>though you do realize that having your parents as the main commenters on your post sets your nerd-quotient off the charts ;)<BR/><BR/><BR/><I>(bolts for the exit...)</I>StepImahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16493964460446023478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147439023950950362006-05-12T09:03:00.000-04:002006-05-12T09:03:00.000-04:00And that's really cool that Rabbi Twersky commente...And that's really cool that Rabbi Twersky commented favorably on your essay on feminism and halacha! What was the occasion, and how did you hear about it?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147438517304879692006-05-12T08:55:00.000-04:002006-05-12T08:55:00.000-04:00This is a beautiful post! I also didn't realize ho...This is a beautiful post! I also didn't realize how unhappy you were at that age, though I knew you weren't happy about switching schools at the beginning of 3rd grade. <BR/><BR/>I was quite socially inept as a kid, not understanding how other kids (or teachers) would feel about things I said or did. The only time this made me very unhappy, that I can remember, was in 7th grade, when another boy, whom I had played a rather mean practical joke on, held a grudge about it and starting punching me regularly. (Eventually we became friends again.) <BR/><BR/>I was unusually unathletic, even by the standards of the other nerds that I hung out with, and sometimes was teased about it. On one occasion, also in 7th grade, when I was trying to get a basketball into the basket, the other boys in the class started chanting in unison, "We want a miracle!" It was a little embarrassing, but I don't think it was traumatic, since they were my friends and we always teased each other. <BR/><BR/>It helped that I was also unusually smart even by the standards of the other nerds, and being smart was valued by the nerds, which somewhat balanced being unathletic. By high school, when I was one of the top scorers on the Math Team, it far more than made up for being unathletic, at least among the people whose opinion I cared about, though I think I was still somewhat socially inept. <BR/><BR/>Also, as a boy, I didn't have any of the clothing issues that you described. We all wore sports shirts (I favored paisley shirts when I was in junior high, and was disappointed when they went out of fashion around 1965 and you couldn't find them in the stores) and casual pants, though in junior high in New York, before we moved, the boys had to wear dress shirts and ties, which I also liked.<BR/><BR/>I'm glad to hear that you look forward to reading the Science section of the NY Times, and enjoyed reading Scientific American when we used to subscribe to it, in the days before it went low brow. I didn't think any of our kids was very interested in science.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147400404250639992006-05-11T22:20:00.000-04:002006-05-11T22:20:00.000-04:00Thanks for this, ALG. It's a great post, and hard...Thanks for this, ALG. It's a great post, and hard to imagine that it doesn't resonate with just about everyone I know. BTW, the only principle I've ever really had about dating-- aside from disdaining smokers-- is that former middle school geeks are strongly preferable. Much more interesting. And compassionate. Thanks again!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147400121095112322006-05-11T22:15:00.000-04:002006-05-11T22:15:00.000-04:00Excellent and thoughtful.Feel free to strike up a ...Excellent and thoughtful.<BR/><BR/>Feel free to strike up a conversation about the NY electrical grid down here anytime :)<BR/><BR/>btw, regarding note#1: is it okay to refer to Kacy as a "chick magnet"? (to the point that if I plugged her in, she'd be a chick-electromagnet) - even if there were a momentary linguistic confusion regarding which use of the word "chick" was meant, both would be correct (i.e. Kacy is a "north" pole, and women are "south" poles; the baby birds clearly are also "north" poles, as they flee whenever Kacy is brought near...) ;)Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16491386537225283381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11850330.post-1147364148911545182006-05-11T12:15:00.000-04:002006-05-11T12:15:00.000-04:00Gosh! I had no idea you were upset because you we...Gosh! I had no idea you were upset because you weren't in the "in" group! I do remember you saying, when you were at a new school for 3rd grade, that it was annoying that kids called out your first name, but were actually looking for another (popular) girl in the class. I guess I've never been in a clique of popular people and, since it has never bothered ME, I didn't give your feelings the proper attention. I'm sorry. I wasn't raised in a household where making a conscious effort to be popular was particularly encouraged, so I never realized not being popular was a traumatizing experience.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com